The Game Of Flirting When You’re Married

The issue of flirting while you are married has always been quite controversial. On one hand, you’ll find therapists and relationship experts insist that people who flirt while married are putting their marriage at risk, while others argue it could add fuel to your marriage through the potential boost of self esteem. Beyond the experts and the infinite amount of google pages with a plethora of different opinions, my own group of friends are split down the middle on the subject.

Moral compass aside, when a hot (circle the appropriate noun) coworker/ex/neighbour/gym buddy/friend/friend’s spouse, starts sending you flirty text messages and asks you to go on a lunch date or two, you can get excited by the new found chemistry. But is the fun banter worth of subconscious stress of doing something wrong? It all depends on the boundaries set in your marriage. According to psychologist Michael Brickey, author of Defying Aging and many other relationship experts, playful bantering or gentle flirting with someone outside of your marriage is harmless if proper boundaries remain intact.

It’s no surprise that boredom is most commonly the emotion that leads to flirting. As reported by “Psychology Today Magazine,” when women feel that they have discovered everything there is to know about their current partner, they often become eager to engage in flirtation with someone with whom they are less familiar. To keep the desire to flirt at bay, both women and men must work to maintain the mystery and excitement in their relationship. If these elements of intrigue can be maintained, flirting desires will likely not arise.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been a tad too busy raising a family to stay on the up and up with the latest flirting techniques. So I’ve done some digging.

Here are fun ways to flirt with your husband:

Role Play

po1t66hssg20c4xIf you already have a regular date night with your husband (and you should!), why not mix things up a bit? Instead of sitting down to dinner at a restaurant like you’ve done countless times before; why not pretend that it’s your first date? Or meet at a bar and pretend you don’t know each other? Sometimes a little fantasy is all that’s needed to get both of your pulses racing.



Embrace the Emoticons

0760Text flirting is a lot of fun, but the problem with texting is that fact that you can’t convey tone. The solution? Emoticons! They surprisingly impactful when you’re trying to flirt. Why not throw in a winky face ;) or even just a smile :)? And once you get in the hang of it, throw some kissy faces : *. The emoticons can help to get across the fact that you’re flirting, which could be completely missed in texting because it’s just reading. Using emoticons definitely helps to get the message across.


Offer the unexpected comment

il_570xN.158943027Say the most flirtatious and out-of-the-blue thing at the most unlikely time. Instead of “I’m glad I married you” over dinner on your anniversary, try “Will you marry me, again?” while you’re out shopping. It is those unexpected comments at the most unusual times and places that can be so pleasantly provocative.



Resurrect the pet names

If there are any names you used to call each other, digging them up and dusting them off for some flirtatious fun could be an excellent idea. It’ll bring back sweet memeories and appreciation for how far you’ve come.



These are some of my flirting techniques I’ve had fun with lately. What do you do to flirt with your husband? Comment below. I need all the tips and tricks I can get.

Xo Melany



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